Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Living Within Your Means

Holla,

Sorry that it has taken me so long to get back to this. It has been a crazy couple of weeks in the life and times of Micah. I got a job, purchased a car, headed to Vegas, and entertained a visiting group of friends in the span of three weeks. The experience has left me exhausted and in extensive debt.

At the time that I received my job, my bank account was entering into some desperate times. It had taken a beating for a full year and was now seeking refuge from my constant barrage of punches. It had done so well in covering up the bruises, but at this point, people were starting to ask questions.

-He's not contributing anything to this relationship. Why do you stay with him?
-How could you let him treat you like that?
-Don't think about the past, when direct deposits just magically appeared every two weeks. Why don't you think about your future?

The bank account and I had reached rock bottom. Thoughts of moving back into my parent's house started to creep back into my head. Selling body part and organs seemed more and more appealing. And then, I received the call. I had a job! Oh happy day! The bank account and I might be able to salvage the relationship that had been so successful in the past. Happier times were on the horizon.

The tip money that I received on my first night of work should have gone directly into my bank account. That would have been the appropriate thing to do. I know that now. But in my head, I started to envision all of the things that I could purchase with that money. I had an entire wish list of things that I had been coveting since leaving employment last year. An actual list, that was saved on my computer, which has been growing at an exponential rate.

While living in the unemployment line, I had turned up my frugal-ness to an 11. I would spend entirely too much time in grocery store isles, comparing the price per ounce of different food products. I would purchase food that I knew that I didn't enjoy, just because it was 7 cents less than the more enjoyable item. I can't begin to tell you the anger that I felt when Subway stopped offering the $5 footlongs. I purchased socks at a swap meet. I found a bottle of shampoo for $1, and it was like winning the lottery. Each dollar that left my wallet was like ripping off a band-aid.

And then I had a job again, where I actually received money in-hand at the end of every night. Holding $100 is much different than having it floating around in check or electronic format. It was scalding my palm. I had no choice, I had to spend it.

So, I bought a car, and some new clothes, and shoes, and booze, and chips at the casino, and music, and the expensive ham at the grocery store. It was glorious! I couldn't help myself. It was a three week binge of purchasing things that I had avoided for a year, and I didn't want it to stop. I wanted to buy more, and not worry about budgeting any longer.

That was the case, until I woke up this morning, and checked my fragile bank account. Even with the money that I had been earning, I was still in debt for the month. My bank account was still huddled in the corner, in tremendous need of some gentle carressing.

Now that I'm headed back to reality (somewhat) I need to dial things back a little bit. The tip money is going directly to the bank for a while, in hopes that I can actually save money for a month. As much as I like the thrill of spending money, the depressing reality of seeing your life savings dwindle down is much worse.

-More to come...

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