Friday, April 16, 2010

No Pride Left to Swallow


I like history. I enjoy learning about it. I like historical movies, and the History Channel, and Michael Jackson's HIStory.

I think history is important to know and appreciate in order to learn from it and apply its lessons to your own life. Here are some of the most important lessons that I've learned:

-If I ever happen to be the leader of France, I will not to try and invade Russia during wintertime.
-I will not ever, EVER, ban the consumption of alcohol, for it will lead to an increase in organized crime and violence.
-A woman with warts and a fondness for cats is not necessarily a witch, although she still might be frightening.

-I shouldn't ever leave a job without having another one in waiting. Searching for a job in San Diego is a fruitless affair.

I've carried these lessons with me for my entire life. I've never invaded a foreign country, never discouraged drinking, never killed a witch, and never left a job without....

Crap! See, this is why I should remind myself of my history. I would have remembered how awful it was to find a job in San Diego. Instead, I left my current employment, confident that I would have another position in very little time. Even when I began my job search, my level of self-entitlement was too high. I was too picky. If a position was too far away, or if the pay was too low, or if I didn't like the look of the company's website, I wouldn't send my resume.

I surfed through websites that I felt were somewhat legitimate. They weren't Craigslist, which is the red light district of the internet (I mean that more in the shady/gross sense, rather than its proclivity for pornographic material). Career Builder, Monster, San Diego Jobs were part of my daily routine. I looked through the sites and would pick out one or two positions that I considered potential candidates. A day or two would go by before I sent a resume, often feeling like a cover letter was unnecessary, and I would wait for a response. I followed this pattern for a couple of weeks. Results: 0 jobs.

After seeing no results from my first method, I moved onto phase II of my getting-a-job plan. I started visiting recruiting agencies. I noticed through my website searching that the majority of job postings were performed by these agencies. I set up a meeting with one of them, convinced that I would have a job in a limited time span. I selected the one that I thought was the best. This conclusion was mainly due to the appearance of their website rather than any additional research. I've been with them for over a month. Results: 0 jobs.

Phase III of my plan included expanding the breadth of my recruiting agency exposure. I met with another one last week, sent my resume to another this week, and placed phone calls to three others yesterday. I stopped caring about the appearance of their websites and decided to get them all working for me. Results: 0 jobs.

I recently dove into Phase IV. I want to warn you before I begin; It's not pretty. I spent the last several days on Craigslist. That's right. After vowing to never return to the muck-filled gutter that is this website, I've found myself creeping around the "Jobs Board" yet again. Today, I applied to a "staff accountant" position at a San Diego summer camp and a "general accountant" position at a hotel. They pay $13/hour and $15/hour respectively. Results: 0 jobs.

By ignoring my personal history, I'm now stuck applying for Craigslist jobs that contain candidate qualifications such as, "College Degree - Preferred". I'm calling recruiting agencies that haven't returned my phone calls in weeks. I'm starting to look at the Subway employees, and wondering how much they are paid on an hourly basis.

I have no pride left. I'm willing to do anything, and yet, the results remain the same. 0 jobs.

More to come...

Sunday, April 11, 2010



Stress-bots: Deadly creatures that come at the most inopportune, inappropriate, inconvenient times (adding "in" makes it the opposite, apparently). I spoke briefly about the effect of the stress bots in my latest sports blog posting ( - it's amazing), but I thought that this was the more appropriate forum for me to delve deeper into the subject.

Earlier this week, still in the midst of trying to find that damned junicorn, I was viciously attacked by a rabid pack of stress-bots. I wasn't afraid initially. Stress-bots appear friendly at first:

Don't be fooled! These foul creatures are never fun to deal with; especially for those individuals who haven't dealt with them in a considerable amount of time. Say, for instance, over two years. You forget about their steely, cold grip and their dead, light-bulb eyes.

At first, you might even welcome the stress-bots into your life. You might feel like you are doing something productive for the first time in, say, over two years. It could feel good to have a clearly defined purpose and goal for yourself. This is when the stress-bots are at their most dangerous.

In very little time these creatures turn into all-consuming monsters of death. They feed off of your outside interests.
-You want to write blog posts? Nope, sorry. Stress-bots ate those as appetizers.
-You want to exercise? Please. That's their soup and salad.
-You want to devote more time to your significant other? That's what they enjoy most. It's their t-bone steak.
-You have hopes and dreams of being a writer? That's the meal these robots eat at midnight, when they've digested their dinner and aren't ready to turn off for the night.

The more the stress-bots eat, the more powerful they become. Say you are trying to sell your group of friends on making an investment, you can't catch a junicorn, your bank account is dwindling, you aren't actively working towards your dreams, your parent's stopped paying attention to you because their first grandchild was born, and you're trying to make a long-distance relationship work (this is purely a hypothetical scenario). What kind of stress-bot will you be facing?

Oh No! It's become of stress-dragon! And it's even cuter than before! I can't express how dangerous this is!

Be careful out there.

More to come...

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Unexpected Results


The beginning of April is here. Spring has fully arrived. The weather has been warmer, the flowers are blooming, and the beach is once again whispering sweet nothings in my ear. It's a time of rebirth, promise, and hope after the long, harsh winter (actually, San Diego's winter is not all that long, or harsh, but it helps to demonstrate my point a little better...). Nearly everywhere I look, things are thriving, excited by the promise of the season. Everywhere, that is, except in my employment status.

When I made the decision to leave my bartending position, I didn't think that my job hunt would prove to be this difficult. After all, I was planning to enter back into the corporate world. I was willing to accept a mind-numbing, soul-sucking, accounting position. I was even planning to dust off the business casual section of my closet, for Christ's sake. And yet, the job continues to elude me like some sort of mythical creature. I've been hunting through the murk, sending resumes through numerous websites, fax machines, and electronic mails for nearly a month, but the junicorn (that's job and unicorn combined) keeps escaping my grasp.

Prior to my venture into the world of unemployment, I managed to amass enough work experience fodder to create a mildly impressive resume. I worked at a big 4 accounting firm, I created accounting processes at a highly complex trading desk, I started two businesses, and still managed to be proficient in Spanish (don't test me on this). Apparently, however, this page of Micah information does not seem to stand out among the masses. Of the 30 or so positions for which I've applied, I've received responses from only one. This position, which I've previously written about, was for a glorified Home Depot representative. Super!!!

I started working with placement service companies recently, hoping that my success rate would improve. I even interviewed with one of them. I told them that I was looking for anything that paid, from the most menial tasks to executive level positions. I left the meeting feeling fairly confident that I would have at least some opportunities within the following week.

It's now been nearly three weeks since that interview. I've called the company four times, and have spoken to my placement service representative twice. The first time that I spoke with her, she told me to call her back in a week. Today, being a week later, I talked with her again. After two minutes, she told me that she was getting another call, and that she promised she would call me back once she was finished. It's now been five hours since that conversation, and I'm starting to get the idea that they might not have much to offer me.

Over a year ago, I often wrote about my experiences with Craigslist. At the time I was looking for writing and acting jobs and felt like Craigslist was one of the shadier locations on the interwebs. I felt like I was sending out countless emails, getting very little responses, and was occasionally exposed to various scams. I didn't expect to get the same dirty sensation while searching for legitimate employment, but I'm starting to get that all-too-familiar scuzzy feeling once again.

The hunting must continue. That's my only choice, really. Either I catch that damned junicorn, or I start sleeping in the streets. As always, I'll keep you periodically informed.

More to come...